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Best Fat Paysites
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| That’s why you’re so fat…fatty” Keep calling him fatty once his eating disorder develops. (Pranksters take notice, this one works for girls too!)Tell him wooden toys that his dislike of wooden toys show tunes and halter tops is a sign of latent homosexuality. Go to his middle school talent show and chant rhyming homophobic phrases along with the cool kids while he sobs through a flamboyantly constumed rendition of “A Star Is Born”. Tell him it’s impossible to get a girl pregnant if you pee on her after wooden toys sex. Watch as he spends his adult life paying alimony to angry and slightly incredulous women. When he's very young show him porno starring women with male genitalia. Laugh as he brings a new girlfriend with male genitalia to each family reunion, never quite able to satisfy the fetish you planted in his brain all those years ago.Dress up like a priest and play with his penis. (Only becomes long term and rewarding if you do it often)Tell him that Chips Ahoy cookies are fortune cookies and that the part of the box that says: EXPIRES 12/14/05 is his fortune... |
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